Well, who's still in the Big Blogger household? It's been one helluva day where the 'musings' have outnumbered the 'rantings' by 2 to 1. These are amazing statistics especially as 'life journeys' are hot paninis at the moment. Wayne Roonwald is ever so excited at the moment as he awaits the results of his scan. Him and that Coleen Maccchaccllllllllooeen are said to be so proud that they'll soon be showing the scan of his baby metatarsel to the whole world. They'll be amongst some of the proudest foot-parents on the planet. My mate Camel Balls has insider information that they'll be throwing a party much bigger and more over-the-top than Dai and Vicky's the other day. And before you start to wonder about my mate Camel Balls he didn't get the nickname out of some ironic twist of irony - he does really have balls the size of a camel's. Please, spare the one hump or two jokes. Anyway, Jennifer Ellison will be winging her way back from Benidorm for the party I'm sure, and, it's rumoured, that the entire cast of Brookside from 1982 to 84 will be there.That Ricky Tomlinson's funny. As a special treat you'll all be glad to hear that the wigmeister general FatboyFat himself, Elton John, won't be going because he's not invited. Did you know his latest sitcom about an over-the-hill gay rock star named Max Flash - complete with manager and hangers on has not been taken up by anyone in Hollywood. Good. It was probably crap anyway.What makes him think that he can write sitcom all-of-a-sudden? I can just see his little piggy chops pulling a tantrum "David darling I want to write an hilarious, award grabbing, popular sitcom so people can love me even more" to which his wife David replies "You can't do that bumchum because you're the unfunniest man-hybrid on the planet.I've never laughed at one of your pathetic jokes and I only married you for the divorce payout. Haven't you read the papers porky? Pi*s off I'm doing a Heather?" The shitcom was called 'Him and Us' and was about showbiz ranting and musings with a few journey's thrown in for small measures. Apparently, the pilot didn't go down too well - but that's another of Elton's stories! Heather Mills has still left the Big Macca Household. Macca himself tried to catch her in a pincer movement by offering her £25 million squid for the baby. That's alot for a small baby - wonder how much he would have offered if it was fully grown? Well, Shahbang's still gone from the BB house but never forgotten, and that Deidrie, the sports scientist has followed in his footsteps.She broke the rules.BB is the very fabric of our society so if you let her get away with it they'll all want to do it and then we'll have anarchy in the UK and the Sex Pistols will reform. God Forbid!

Well, Juzzzy's finally left the Big Blogger Household. Could he and the Shahbaz creature be one and the same - nah, too much of a coincidence. While one door shuts another slams in yer face. I see Dai and Vickey's doo the other night went ok. Sampson was saying that the party bags didn't amount to much and that Graham Norton's auctioning skills were more like Motherby's than Sotheby's. Incidentally the Beckham's were the subject of a documentary on the telly last night. Great fare for one and all tho you've got to feel pity for them. They've got no privacy. Constantly in the public eye, paparazzi at every turn, top of the range super cars (mega expensive on fuel consumption), houses in Spain, Switzerland, Berkshire and Cleethorpes. They must get really bogged down with all that cleaning and hoovering. My mate Goose and his Aunt Sally, who both know a bit about cleaning, says he doesn't don't know how they manage it all. He wrote them letter offering to help with the hoovering but they haven't replied yet. You'll like Goose, but he's a bit of a strange old chicken. To my knowledge he's the only ventriloquist house cleaner around. Yes, 'Ventriloquist House Cleaning' is a somewhat specialist service but nevertheless it works for him and his Aunt Sally. His Aunt Sally has been in the family for at least 50 years. She'd been tucked away in a box in the the attic until Goose discovered her as a young man. In order to train Goose to be a proper upstanding young citizen it was not unusual for his father to lock him in the attic for several days at a stretch. Aunt Sally, with full working limbs and parts, and Goose, became quite close. Goose would spend many an hour practising on Sally, getting his tongue around the most difficult of phrases and thus a thousand 'gottle of cleaners' were born. It was during an argument that Sally's leg fell off that Goose had the idea of replacing it with a brush and handle and a thousand wet cleaning dreams were born!
Telly's rubbish at the mo that's why so many people are signing up for more rants and musings with the occasional life journey thrown in!
Sleep tight Juzzzy, we'll miss you - 'Another One Bites The Dust.'
Word of the Day
Gone, as in ~ gone away, gone from here, gone with the wind, gone with the window cleaner, my wife's gone with the window cleaner......again!

So what has been happening in the Big Blogger Household today? Much musings and rantings with the cybermates I bet, with the odd journey thru life here and there and bloody everywhere.
Juzzzy's off the top for once; well it is the Sabbath. Feel quite unnerved that he's dropped down the league table albeit for one day. They said Keef Richards fell out of a tree with shock the last time Juzzzy dropped off the top - bollocks he did, my mate said he jumped so he wouldn't have to tour again with Mick Shagger. Hey, hey, he should remember he's a Rolling Stone, not a bleeding Monkee!
Dai and Vicky are having a bit of a do at the Big Becksville Household today and rumour has it they were up all night blowing up balloons and hoovering. My mate Sampson told them to use paper plates as it would make life a lot easier when clearing up tomorrow. He's good like that is Sampson, always has a practical slant on the most ostentacious of occasions. He went to the soap awards the other night and managed to get his grubby hands on one of those goodie bags - and you never guess - yes, it was filled with soap. I said to him, well, Sam, that's lifebouy! I read on somebody's blog that kiwi fruit were only invented in 1949 which is pretty amazing; tho they don't say if you can eat the skin. Keeping up Appearances was repeated on telly again today at 1pm and I was shocked to discover that Onslow's birthday causes trouble. Birthday's can oft bring out the worst in some people especially if they're expecting a big pressie and you haven't even bought them a little one. Old granny's love birthday's tho don't they. They just love sitting there watching it all happening quaffing pints of tea and pulling faces at the satay chicken.Dai and Vicky have a special table set aside for grannies' with only grannies' food, you know traditional English tucker, tripe and jellied eels.Don't you just hate them!
It was followed strangely by Cash in the Attic (there's only a mess and an old Aunt Sally in mine) and Murder, She Wrote completing a hat trick of Sunday repeats for the BBC. Still no evictions on here tho there may be a few more rants before the night's out!

It's been a frantic day in the Big Blogger household with scores of bloggers sat next to their pc's and laptops busy typing away in cyberspace.There'll be no evictions here say the cyber police "now move on laddie."
Anyway, as Muhammad Ali was saying to me the other day "a man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life." Why did he have to remind me?
Yesterday, Heather Mills just left the Big Macca household. Apparently she just got up and walked out just like that,well with the aid of her crutch mind you and without a care in the world. Someone said her last words were "I'm off down the bank, I may be gone some time." Now who would have foretold that this time last year.Sir Paul's lamenting;

"Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Heather's gone and took my cash away,
Oh I can't stop saying fu*k, fu*k, fu*k, bugger, sh*t, sh*t, bugger, bugger.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be now that Heather's stopping shagging me, oh fu*k,
fu*k, fu*k, fu*k, bugger, sh*t, sh*t, bugger, bugger!"

And it's in all the papers that he's a right one for the old spliffs. Now who would have guessed that this time last night?

Someone was asking me the other day if I thought all the bloggers in the Big Blogger Household were real people or were all the blogs just written by Juzzzy. "What" i said "Juzzzy being the top of the blogs just a smoke screen for the real work of writing all the other blogs, and, posing teasing questions and replies?" Now there's a thought! I'll have you believe that many a true word is spoken in jets. Then someone said that they thought Juzzzy was actually in the Big Brother Household. That's a helluva lot of blogs he'd have to have forewritten and some sophisticated automated system of entering the blogs - far, far beyond my capabilities and know-how.

That Rooney's been in his Big Oxygen Tank - AGAIN! He just can't get enough oxygen.It's just like the old proverb
'A rolling oxygen tank gathers no moss.' Him and that Colleen Mclaacccchlynne have got it made you know. Neither of them have to work again, ever. That's right they could give up tomorrow and spend the rest of their lives jet setting around the world back and fore to Magaluf and Benidorm with that Jennifer Ellison and her fiance. I do miss Brookside and wish that they'd just bring it back now and then for a special Crimbo edition where we'd see Rooney moving in next door to Stevie Gerrard and the pair of them running a small wine and ciggie racket back and fore to France. Terry Henry could arrest them at Calais for smuggling. I think the whole country would want to watch that instead of the World Cup.
Anyhow, enough of my ranting and rogering time to let the big blogger household get back in their baskets!